Hello All You Silly Sausages! Silly Sad!

Hellooooooooooo! 


Happy Friday!   PARF...... OOOOh Pardon me!  Sorry, I am feeling a bit silly this week, more than usual, so its one big silly fest here!  

 One of my stitcheries

No! I am not sorry actually... being silly is extremely good for the soul. Nothing makes me feel better than to have a mad half hour or two. I adore laughing and can be rendered completely helpless by just hearing someone else laughing, even if I don't know what they are laughing at.  I am perhaps a slightly split personality kind of character, as like all things in life, everything has a dark side and a light side. For all of my silly side that is, there is  also a very serious thinking side too. Sometimes I can get utterly lost in deep thoughts and examine everything in minute detail. Life to me is indeed a tragi-comedy, and so I seem to have the sometimes unfortunate ability to see both at once! 

  Ralphus Le Puff Mac Duff, being very silly indeed donning a hoodie!

Have you ever been truly crying and truly laughing at the same time. A slightly alarming feeling, but strangely illuminating too! To see the humour in a dark situation I feel is a blessing. To me it is anway. I had such an experience whilst in hospital just after having my masectomy. I had woken up in such pain which was radiating all through my body. there didn't seem to be one bit of me that wasn't left out! Also, I was desperate for a wee, but I couldn't seem to get up. Me being me, I didn't want to disturb a nurse, so eventually, I decided I had 3 choices... 1,  force myself to get up and know it was going to be agony,  2, wet the bed,  3 ring for a nurse, get some more pain killers, wait for the painkillers to work , and still wet the bed!   So I chose 1, and struggling I made it to the bathroom. At that moment in time I was feeling very sorry for myself. No sorry isn't the correct description, it doesn't even come close, I was is the darkest despair I had ever encountered. I had had many problems in my life leading up to that moment, and that was franlkly this was the  last straw, I was in the darkest dark night of the soul.  I was crying, no not crying.. weeping, sobbing.

 Ahhh, yes, I looked just like Robert Smith from the Cure, One of my all time favourites! I love Robert Smith!

 No, actually, probably more like this. Alice Cooper, I love him, very warped lyrics... I can't help it... I love them and him!  I also love classical music..go figure! Then again I love all music.. why? Because I am greedy thats why!

I lifted my head and spotted this strange creature in the mirror, wild and unkempt, face so pale the creature looked as if it had been buried for 6 weeks and dug up again! Red eyes, staring back at me, it's hair was so wild and was sticking up in the air like the scene from Something About Mary.  
 For a second everything was suspended in time, as still weeping I told my reflection in the mirror " you ARE pathetic!" . Next thing I knew I was shaking with laughter and weeping all at the same time, I could see the irony, the absolute funny side of the whole hideous affair!  Oh how the mighty have fallen I thought to myself! You would really have to know what else was going on in my life at the time of my diagnosis to truly understand how far I had fallen. But I'm not telling... Na Na, Na Na NA! 

 Yes just like that, but not that pretty! 

Isn't humour, after all, a way of trying to make sense of the world, helping us to see the other side of the coin, helping us to cope with the not so happy parts of life which we all face in life. Gawd knows there are enough tears, so certainly we should welcome laughter with out stretched arms whenever we get the chance! So, I do do!  I find that humour can appear in our darkest moments and we shouldn't be ashamed or frightened of it, it comes only as an aid to soften the situation and to bring understanding, strength of spirit, tolerance and humility.  It helps us to cope, and sometimes even to fight back with passion.   Humour is the reflection of sadness, I believe it is all connected. It is the other side of the coin.


Sometimes things just don't make any sense at all, but if you study it all hard and long enough, really give it all your full attention you can often,  if not always, see the funny side! 

This gate doesn't make any sense at all! Please keep this gate shut at all times! I laugh everytime I walk past it! No wonder I get odd looks around here. Walking on my own laughing at gates!


In those first few years of trying to come to terms with it all, I used to get very depressed sometimes, and actually used to say to George that I felt that I could cry and cry and never be done with it. It was a deep and sorrowful mourning, but it was tangled up with twenty odd years (No!, make that 30!) of other sorrows, that all seemed to be coming flooding back to the surface demanding for me to face them. Don't believe for one minute, that if you ignore/bury your feelings that they go away... They don't! They will come back out one way or another!  My buried and ignored emotions, hurts, etc. marched right in and sat down facing me full on and demanded some much needed attention. They had escaped  in a weak moment, when my strength was low, and my door was wide open.  The flood gates had literally opened! So I reflected daily during the long months I sat undergoing the chemotherapy....

 A drawing of mine, how I felt at the time!

If I needed to cry.. I finally gave my self permission, instead of thinking that it is my job in life to keep going and look cheerful! I cryed buckets and buckets. Totally indulgent!  How can that many tears come out of one person, have I got a damn ocean in there?! I came to the conclusion that keeping things bottled up was useless and probably the reason I was sat there in that state, with only one boob!  Of course, when I got so deep in the mire that I didn't even want to get out of bed, or go outside, I knew it was time to give myself a large kick up the....So I developed a technique.... I would force myself ( very hard some days!) to stand up and wave my arms wildly around in the air. Well actually one arm wildly, I couldn't move the other one much due to my lacerated armpit!  I defy anyone not to start to at least smile at how silly they look! The first time I tryed it, I cryed laughing. George! This works! Poor George, he used to have to put up with my silly cheer myself up routine quite often! I gave myself a nick-name.... Juanita Juan-tit .... to call myself when I got too serious about it all. Hey Juan-tit, get up, pull yourself together,  and go wave those arms, err that arm! He he!


I think that what I am trying to say here, is that I just refuse point blank to lose my humour, and spend nearly everyday, polishing it, crafting it, and displaying it with love! When life throws S**t, humour is always hiding in the corner somewhere! It just needs spotting.  Humour is the child within.






One of my favourite songs! Tis wonderful sung by the great Judy Garland!


Before I trot off to my vegetable patch,  I have another thank you! Thank you Jaqueline for this lovely, lovely  tag and ever so cute fairyland stickers!  They certainly are gorgeous and in your wonderful words Jaqueline... groovey! , and how kind is this magical lady, who you can visit here, this is the nicest surprise Jacqueline!  The inside of the envelope had polka dots!  I shall go a merry sticker stickering!

Go forth and giggle, it is our duty to spread mirth! Ta ta old beans (hey less of the old!) Sorry for waffling again, I just can't seem to say anything in one sentence! I will try harder next week. Short post, short post......
But then I  do only post once a week.. I don't say boo or a moo all week and then I get on here and I just can't a shuta me trap!


Much love Suzie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Off Yer Trolley!

Hello dear friends,

And how does this lovely Friday find you all? It may say Thursday on the date, but it is now 1.08 am on Friday!  Have you all had a fruitful and productive week? I often think of you all, all  friends I know here in blogland,  all the readers of my blog, some just passing through... what lives you lead, what books you read, all the things you do,  and what wonderful mixture of events, memories and loves that makes each one of you so unique!  I think of you all with each word I write and thank you all for visiting me.  You make me feel all happy inside!

                                                       HAPPY!

 Thank you too for all your lovely warm and kind words about my Dad's cousin too! I really appreciate you kindness and concern. I loved hearing your funny comments too, you have made me laugh out loud! And I absolutely love laughing out loud, it is the best tonic! :)

What have I been doing this week? Well I have been busy as usual, but actually don't seem to be getting far!   I have been considering what to do with this gorgeous Cath Kidston fabric. What do think?

 On the design front I have been working on a couple of new stitcheries, but I am not ready to show them just yet!
On the home front, I have made another pair of curtains for my workroom, an inspirational pair, to remind me of why I sit in that room in the first place! here they are....  Do you like?

 Please excuse the miserably weeping window! Not very pretty is it!??

On a relaxing front (whats that then?) ha ha, this is the book I am trying to read at the moment. I have started the first few pages several times now, over the last few weeks, as I spend so long between picking the book up again, that I feel I need to start again! I will let you know what I think of it when I finally get it read! I haven't seen the film yet.  I love something a bit deep, and I feel that although it most certainly will be harrowing, it will nevertheless be an enriching experience.

What do you all do to relax? I love sudoku, crosswords, (and of course crafting!, goes without saying!) and now promise you won't laugh,  I love video games, yes I do! Especially the ones in which there is plenty of puzzle solving. I also love the Sims, because I like building houses, furnishing and decorating them and giving the families daft names!  You can go mad decorating, as you can change all the patterns and colours!

 Pictures sourced from the internet.

I can't cope at all with games which are against the clock,or fighting/action ones, as I get in a complete state, and my heart starts to race! You should have seen me trying to play Tomb raider, every one in the room was in hysterics as I shouted at Lara Croft for running wildly around in circles when there was a predator after her! I just could not co-ordinate ....... I was in such an agitated state!

Now then! Shall I give you all one last funny tale? Shall I? One more George story, and this one too, displays what a wonderfully well humoured man he is!  Oh, ok, you have twisted my arm, here goes....

George you are so amusing sometimes!  He loves playing tricks on me!  He once lifted me up in a supermarket car-park and plonked me in a shopping trolley! Oh yes he did, and then he walked off and left me there, with my legs hanging out over the front.   Could I get out...no!   The more I tryed the more the trolley moved about, and the more I struggled the more I began to laugh, I was dangerously teetering on hysterial giggling!

What I must have looked like to the other bewildered shoppers, (who, by the way, were giving me a rather wide birth!)   probably thinking that I had put myself there, and was now laughing like a complete loon on my own! (George had very kindly removed himself to another part of the car park, enjoying the spectacle from afar)   You know that giddy panicky giggly feeling..... yes thats the one!  Eventually, after enjoying himself immensely, he took pity on me and came to lift me out!  He has a bad back these days, so thankfully he hasn't been able to do such a thing again! Or is that sad, that he hasn't?  It is a memory I treasure, because although a tad embarassing at the time, it was also an absolutely silly and childish experience. And isn't a lovely thing sometimes to act carefree and unhindered,  to feel like a giddy child again.  Just to be silly for the sake of being silly!  Wonderful!!!

Now, before I go for another week, I would like to thank  RosieP at Roses and Peonies and Emma at Em's Shabby Shack for giving me one each of this lovely award! Thank you so much RosieP and Emma! You are so kind to have thought of me! I am going to award this award to all of you who read my blog as a thank you for your friendship! Take it with you please!

Also the very lovely martha at Martha's Favorites has told me she has found an owl pin and is sending it to me! Isn't that kind of her. I will let you all see it when it gets here! Thank you Martha!

Look what has arrived in the post everyone! I have been the very lucky winner of this wonderful giveaway from the immensely talented and creative Corinne Phillips, Aren't these brooches just magical! I hope my photographs could really catch the beauty in each of these pieces of art! The fairys even have little necklaces and accessories! And each has a little description! Corinne I am just bowled over by them... I love each one, you are fab! Thank you so much! Please go and visit her! 

Right then, that is all for another week! One more thing though.....Hello Lynne! If you are reading this week, then HELLOOOOO!

Have a lovely sunny (I hope!) weekend!  Love and laughter to you all!

Suzie xxx

Last chance to enter my giveaway!

Happy Friday everybody! As I am writing this, I am reflecting on the week gone by and hope that you have all had a good one! Don't forget that this is the last chance to enter my giveaway - I will announce the winner in next Fridays post.  For the early birds who commented first thing last week, You may not have seen this patchwork  and stitchery which I added later as I had forgotten to put it on!

 Don't forget there will be a few other goodies in your parcel too besides what I have already shown. Anyone new?  Have a look at my last post to see what I am giving away!

Hey! Look what arrived in the post! I was lucky enough to win this fabulous giveaway from Aunt Spicy. I will use this gorgeous bag to do my bits and bobs of shopping! Anyone living in Lancashire, watch out for me sporting this lovely little number!

Also in my parcel were these......

Yes! a rather yummy selection of chocolates and a cupcake party pack! Now! You are know what I will be doing ... shopping for ingredients for cupcakes, carrying them home in my nifty shopper ( which says on it , the Sur la table - art of cooking!) and displaying my creations in those lovely festive cupcake cases with a delightful santa or xmas tree sign to top them off! And of course, munching on chocolate too! Thank you so much Aunt Spicy, you are a darling! Please go and visit her, she will always make you welcome and her blog is a delight! Spicy had also included and written this lovely little sweet handmade card which I will keep forever and proudly display here where every one can see it!

 

It was so exciting to recieve this in the post Spicy! You really are so kind! A BIG kiss to you!

The post before last I talked about invisible friends and this post is about invisible people!

As I was walking to the post office to post a parcel full of fairies  (I really don't know why they couldn't fly there! What is the point of having those tiny wings?  It was awfully windy though.  so....)

Anyway, as I was walking I was thinking about when I was a teenager. Yes I can just about remember that long ago, just after the wheel had been invented I think! The teens can be a difficult age for some, or many! My early teens were like that a bit, I hadn't wanted to leave Canada, and then I found it hard to settle in high school.

             This was my town in Canada - Port Mulgrave in Nova Scotia!

As a matter of fact I found school excruciatingly painful - I was shy, I was bullied and became a bit of a loner. I felt unable to confide in my Mum for quite some time, as I felt that as she was a teacher, she would march in there and it would become worse than ever, so I suffered in silence, dreaded school each day and cried myself to sleep at night. I remember saying to myself, that I didn't need anyone.

I think I have said before that as a philosophy I really gel well with buddhism. One of the meditations is that all day you focus on every task to the exclusion of anything else, so lets say I am cutting out a piece of lovely fabric, I must meditate on the task, but also be thankful. Thankful and mindful of all the work and all of the people's lives that have gone into that one piece, the cotton being picked, the factory, the dyes, the designer, etc., You get the drift? Then there are the scissors. Who made them and what materials were used, and how many lives were involved in that process?

 

                                 Hi  ho! Hi ho! Its off to work we go!

All around us, every day, we are affected by other people, invisible people. People, without whom we would not have shoes on our feet, food on the table, a roof over our heads.... in fact we would be sat about with not a lot! Even the seat I am sat on, I couldn't make myself. Oh yes I could sit on a rock, but I wouldn't have my computer to write this blog! We rely on so many invisible people!  The point being of course, that each and every one of us really do need each and every one of us!!! So my teenager me was a bit off the mark really! I try to remember to do this now and then. It is humbling and helps to remind myself how even the most simple thing I own is wrapped up with someone elses lives and history, and to appreciate even the smallest thing, because in actuality every small thing is in fact a big thing! We truly are all connected and without sounding too gushing, we all gaze up at the same moon!

My teenage me, you will be pleased to hear, found a really good friend, who is still my friend  - my soul sister! And on a windy cold day on the hockey field, I mustered up the courage to ask one of my bullies why she did it. She was a little taken aback to say the least and there was a silence for a moment as she studied me (like I was a specimen!). Then she told me, she said it was because I was different! Well, I did have a Canadian accent, was very skinny, little, flat chested, a bit of a dreamer, artisitc and had victim stamped to my forehead!
For a second I felt quite hurt, and then like a light bulb coming on, I thought ... well I am glad then, because if I was like you, I would be a spiteful bully of a person! I had desperately wanted to fit in, and then in a moment saw that maybe it was sometimes good not to! A valuble lesson indeed!

 After that, I started building up a good strong sense of humour, and decided that from then on, if there was something to cry over, I would try to see the bright side instead! On the whole I think I have managed to do that! I have no ill feelings toward the perpetrators, after all they must have had problems themselves to act in such a way. Years later one of them asked me out for a drink. Curious, I agreed, and it turned out that she had felt tormented by her actions for all those years, and asked me to forgive her! my heart just melted! How lovely! Of course I had actually forgiven her years before that! But it was a wonderful and brave thing for her to do!

Now I wonder how much work and how many people it took to make these delightful tins in red and white?

These tins were from Laura Ashley, there is a sale on at the moment. I also got this polka dot oversized mug.... .....

And from Lakeland I got this little lady who is also a money box too! .......

Guess what? I like red!!!! It is such a cheery colour and I find that little splashes of it in my home makes everything brighter and happier looking. Maybe red reminds me of childhood - those lovely red shoes!

What ever the reason is for my liking red, I love it and find myself completely drawn towards it! I also love blue, and if a certain shade of blue gets together with a certain shade of red, I can go into a hypnotic gaze of awe and wonder!  Sad I know, but I get a kind of excited feeling in my tum!  What colour/s are you all drawn to the most?

Thats all for this week! Remember to pop back next week to find out who the winner of my giveaway is!

Until then remember to embrace the little things, and have a wonderful weekend and week to come.

Love and joy to you all, Suzie.  :) xxx